It's Okay to Feel Down Sometimes, Ash
by Butterbeer8
Summary: Ash isn't feeling himself today. After suffering another loss from a rookie trainer, Ash begins to doubt his own abilities as a trainer. Noticing her friend in low spirits, Misty reassures Ash of his feelings and helps him gain back his confidence. Pokéshipping. AAML (hinted). Cover (c) bittermaraschino


**Author's Note:** Pokéshippy Oneshot. I was inspired by a piece of fan art that I stumbled upon a while ago and the artist had this head canon that sometimes when Ash feels down, he misses his mother, but Misty is there to reassure him that there's nothing wrong with feeling sad sometimes.

Side note: This takes place at the beginning of Johto Journeys and I know that I mention that Ash lost to the Indigo League a couple weeks prior. I consider the Orange Islands Arc as spanning through a few weeks, hence why the Indigo League is still pretty recent.

I do not own Pokémon.

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** It's Okay to Feel Down Sometimes, Ash.**

It wasn't his day. Ash Ketchum was having one of those days; the days in which he felt all the spunk and optimism that he normally exuded sucked out of him, leaving him like an empty shell of dolefulness.

Once again this week, Ash had lost a battle to a fellow trainer he had challenged so eagerly en route to Violet City.

Despite having lost in the Indigo League a couple weeks back, Ash's spirits had been regenerated to start another journey in Johto, especially after a crushing defeat to Gary back in Pallet Town.

He had just registered himself for the Johto League and was ready to start collecting badges from various gyms, catching new Pokémon and defeating every other trainer that came in his path. He _was_ ready. Today, however, Ash felt dejected after his third consecutive day getting defeated by another wandering trainer.

It made no sense, Ash thought. How and why was he losing these abrupt battles? Ash was now an experienced Pokémon trainer, right? Normally, losing a battle, Ash had learnt in the past to let it go and be happy no matter what the outcome was, because in the end he would become stronger. But today, Ash didn't feel happy. He didn't feel okay to have lost to some trainer who probably just earned his Pokémon license a few days ago. He couldn't accept that he lost; he didn't want to be happy. Instead, he allowed himself to become restless and exhausted by the endeavor of becoming a Pokémon Master.

It was a beautiful day, and Ash, along with Pikachu and his friends, Misty and Brock had stopped by a nearby stream and decided to break for a bit.

The usual routine whenever the three Pokémon trainers stopped for lunch consisted of Brock preparing a meal, Misty and her Togepi, collecting fallen branches and bark to start a fire to boil water and Ash…

Today Ash was being lazy, as per usual, but this time sat by the stream, staring sadly as the current swept past his feet with gentle splashes. His head was full of doubt, still sulking about his most recent loss. Times like this, Ash really missed his mother. She was his number one fan and he ached to vent to her his worries and doubts about his ability as a trainer. He would tell her what was bothering him and she would listen attentively and encourage him to never give up and that he was capable of being the greatest.

A part of Ash felt like he disappointed his mother somehow, even though she never expressed, nor felt any dismay whenever her son lost a battle.

Misty returned to their current campsite, piling the branches she and Togepi gathered nicely. She then picked up the pot that Brock put out and went over to the stream where Ash sat doing nothing.

Misty felt compelled to tell Ash off for not helping out, but noticed his despondency when she appeared next to him. It was very out of character for Ash to look so dispirited that her annoyance with him melted away.

Placing the pot to the side, Misty sat beside Ash, asking softly, "Ash, you okay?"

Ash's eyes were fixated at the water in front of him; it was as if he barely heard Misty.

Feeling a little concerned, Misty pressed on a little louder, "Ash?" This time Ash turned to face his worried friend, who smiled in relief to know that he at least heard her.

"Hm?" Ash mumbled, waiting for Misty to ask whatever it was that she asked the first time.

"Are you feeling okay?" queried Misty, her eyes hinting a bit of sadness.

"Fine," Ash responded coldly, turning his head to face the water.

Misty was a bit taken aback by Ash's response. Maybe he wanted to be alone?

"Are you sure?" Misty asked.

"I'm fine," Ash whined like a child, being probed by his mother. But, he wished he could talk with his mother at that moment, he wished he could talk about his bottled frustration.

Misty furrowed her brows a little offended by Ash's childlike wail. She opened her mouth to snap back at him for being immature, but stopped herself. She read into Ash's face that he was really not fine at all. There was something on his mind and Misty wanted to know what it was. She wanted to help him feel better.

Sighing before attempting to get Ash to open up again, Misty asked, "What's the matter, Ash?"

"Misty," Ash said in a low huff. "I'm okay, really." He didn't even give any indication to back up his claim.

"I don't think that you are," Misty whispered, looking down at her feet. She really wanted to Ash to confide in her and let her know what's wrong. She tried to think what might have been the cause to Ash's sour attitude.

Ash continued to stare off into the water, expressing sadness in his eyes. Misty felt a little hurt that he wouldn't confide in her, and grew a little frustrated. _He's so stubborn_, Misty thought. Turning her head back to face Ash, she demanded, "C'mon, what's the matter?"

Ash turned to face Misty equally as irritated as she was, replying, "I told you already, I'm fine! Why won't you quit asking me what's wrong?"

"Because you aren't normally this…" Misty began to say, before looking away.

"Not normally what?" Ash demanded.

"Sad!" Misty spat, meeting her shaky eyes with Ash's.

Ash squared his shoulders, blushing as if some big secret of his had been revealed. He didn't want to share what was bothering him to Misty and Brock, just because, he was too…proud? Ash, willing to admit it or not, had a very strong ego and when he felt this dejected, he only ever felt comfortable venting to his mother. If he told Brock or Misty that he felt like he was a terrible trainer, they'd probably laugh at him and maybe even agree. Or at least Ash thought so.

"I'm not sad," Ash lied quietly, huddling his knees close to his chest.

"You seem like it," Misty answered. "You're always perky and excited, but today you're not."

Ash listened to what Misty was saying, which was true. Ash's profile was always happy go-lucky and excited. But Ash felt sad and discouraged, and he couldn't help it.

"I'm a bad trainer," Ash murmured more to himself than to Misty.

However, Misty heard and her eyebrows rose at that comment. The Ash Ketchum, calling himself a bad trainer? The only other time Ash would ever make some sort of self-deprecating comment was whenever Gary was present. But, even when Gary outdid him, Ash bounced back instantly becoming more determined than ever on his goal.

"What makes you think you're a bad trainer?" Misty asked, softly.

"I just lost to another trainer," Ash huffed, frustrated. "Third trainer in three days, Misty."

Misty smiled a little, considering to her that losing battles weren't that big of a deal, but this was Ash. She sighed, looking at Ash as he continued to sulk in his spot.

"You know, Ash," Misty began and Ash slowly turned his face to Misty. She beamed a small smile at him, hoping that he would feel a little better at what she was about to say. "It's okay to feel sad after losing."

Ash eyed her curiously, not sure what to make of her comment as Misty did sometimes scold Ash on not being a good sport in the past.

"It is?" Ash questioned.

Misty nodded, her eyes showing sincerity. "Yeah. I mean it is a lot of work being happy even when we feel the opposite. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad."

Ash was absorbing what Misty was trying to explain. She told Ash that his feelings are not wrong and that they are justified, something that he didn't expect to hear. He didn't have to be cheerful all the time and even though it was always expected of him, he was still entitled to feeling down when he did.

"I just feel like I'm better than this," Ash began to open making Misty smile even more, feeling relief that he was finally confiding in her. "I placed in the Top 16 in the Indigo League. I won the Orange League, and I still lost to three trainers."

"Well, those trainers probably had the same amount of experience as you," Misty hypothesized. "But that doesn't make you a bad trainer. You're a great one."

"I don't feel like one," Ash grunted, still disappointed in himself.

"You'll go back to believing you're the best Pokémon trainer out there in no time," Misty joked, believing that Ash's ego was almost incurable. "But really, Ash, it's okay to not be okay," she finished simply.

Ash's face cracked a small smile for the first time that day. The journey of a Pokémon trainer was not an easy one. There would be days of several highs and lows. One day he'd catch a new Pokémon, and then the next he would be sitting in the waiting area at the Pokémon Center after a brutal defeat. But deep down, this is what Ash always wanted, and he tried to remind himself of that. And Misty's words of reassurance helped him come to that realization.

Catching a glimpse of Ash's smile, made Misty suddenly feel her face warming up and Butterfree collecting in her gut.

"Yeah," Ash sighed. "I know I'll do better next time." Ash's optimism was beginning to shine through again as his eyes stared off straight ahead determinedly, his smile broadening. Ash pictured himself in his next victory, which he believed to be the Violet City Gym.

Ash felt his doubt starting to melt away. One of his best friends thought that he was great, made him feel more willing to open up if he ever feels down in the dumps again, which he hoped wouldn't happen.

"I'm going to prove myself, winning that Zephyr Badge!" Ash exclaimed resolutely, standing up. Letting out a deep breath, Ash turned to look down at Misty who was still sitting comfortably on the grass. "Thanks, Mist. What would I do without you?"

Misty's cheeks reddened as she turned away, thinking to herself. _Maybe drown, get hurt or in some sort of trouble_.

"Ash! Misty! I need that pot of water!" Ash and Misty turned to hear Brock calling for them to bring the water filled pot so he can start cooking.

Misty reached to her side to pick up the pot, but Ash placed his hand on hers, saying, "Let me do it." Misty responded with a smile and a nod, letting Ash take the pot and fill it with water.

Once the pot was filled, Ash ran over to Brock, spilling water in the process with the spunk and excitement that Ash was known for.

"Oh Ash…" she sighed.

**Fin.**


End file.
